When I was going to be eighteen, I was on 2go trying to woo a lady, she asked why should she be my girlfriend and I vaguely remember saying “I would be 18 soon and now have the freedom to vote, so why not a girlfriend also”. I was stupid, although I can’t admit that is the stupidest nonsense I have done.
Ever since then I have been 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24 and a few days to 25. And I do not remember my 2go acct. name talk less of the password and yes she said no, and also WhatsApp replaced 2go.
In all of the short-time I have had, I have worried myself through most of it and have gotten almost nothing done worrying. I wish I knew some stuffs before growing older.
I just wanted to grow older, the hype on it was impressive (still is) but I wish I had slowed down to enjoy 18 before I was 19 and 20 and the likes, I always thought I would always be 18.
But today I try to write a message to the younger me, and the older me (if I get to meet him) and You also.
You have lived a good life, and you have had your moments be proud of that. You have made more mistake than you care to admit but you are still turning quite alright, take a bow for that.
People are very important, how you manage your relationships would determine how far you would go in life. You must learn that there are keepers and there are leavers, you must learn to differentiate the role of individuals in your life; not everyone would stay.
Some people are only here for a reason, you are a means to an end to them, don’t be offended just know early that that is who they are. When people can walk away from your life, let them go; remember that your blessing is not tied to the person that left.
People can leave, that you like someone doesn’t mean they also have to like you, learn to walk away and appreciate those that walk away from you early enough.
Some others are with you for a season, they come into your life and inspire you to greatness, push you out of your shell and you guys create very beautiful moments and they disappear just as they came, you feel angry and you feel heartbroken it seemed as though they would always be in your life but you must realize that they could only stay for a season. Learn to make use of that season of your life, of the moments and of the growth, don’t regress get better (that is why they came around).
Then we have others that are for a lifetime; the people we most sideline in our lives. The ones that have seen us rise and fall, stupid and smart, the once we hardly speak to in months or even years but once we connect to them it’s like we never left.
They are the ones that are genuinely happy when we are, and sincerely sad when we are, the ones that see the best in us when we are at our worst. You would only have a handful of this kind in your life, you must learn to do better, take out time pretty soon to celebrate them. Don’t realize their worth when they are gone, realize it now.
Facebook lied, you don’t need a thousand friends to feel good, one or two real people who really get you and you my friend are a truly blessed fellow.
Love with all of your heart, don’t deny yourself the joy of that. And please you deserve more than just happiness, you deserve more. And stop setting yourself up for failure by making other people’s past experience your present reality.
And you must also know that we all love differently, and different doesn’t mean we do not love equally.
Falling in love is the easy part, staying in love is the hard part, don’t be too hard on yourself if you have failed here, we all have. But please ever beg anyone to Love you, it should be easy for them not work. Just because you like someone doesn’t mean they have to like you back, handle your rejections coolly, cry if you must, but never beg to be liked, you are perfect just the way you are, and someone would love the whole of you pretty soon.
And while you are waiting for love, fall in love with yourself, you deserve to love yourself first. Date yourself, get to know yourself, hang-out, Live.
AND YES, respect boundaries.
When people are already involved with others, respect that, no matter how you feel about them. Do not become the reason why someone’s relationship would be heading to the cleaners, you are much more than that. Don’t lie that lie “We can just be friends”, you know you want more than that.
Know when to walk away, when to cut your losses, there are some things that would just never work out, know when it is time to say goodbye and never slam the door on your way out, you might need it for something else; you wouldn’t want a jammed door then.
Get used to disappointments, you would disappoint people and people would disappoint you, you must grow through it. And never ever play with the emotions of others, if you ain’t going to eat that lunch; don’t bring it close to your nose.
You must also learn how to deal with loss, people you love and know might die earlier than you imagined, it’s one of life’s way of rubbing it in your face. and truth be told we can never be really prepared for the loss of a loved one. Grief for as long as you can, cry on those lonely nights, then rise again. Life on earth is finite, we all would soon become memories in the minds of others. The goal is to become great memories.
The pressure of life would only get higher, the demands from work and family would rise astronomically, but you must learn to prioritize and make sure nothing suffers. You are never too busy to make time out for others, you just don’t value it enough, you still have time to waste on some scrollings. Value equals sacrifice remember that.
Get something doing, anything honourable, get it doing, you need to be becoming someone of value now. Learn a skill, develop your talents, work somewhere, just make sure you are getting something worthwhile done. Read and Read and Read again, Books have a way of opening your imagination to endless opportunities. And reading gossip columns don’t count.
Don’t be in a rush, it takes time to build a state-of-the-art edifice, just understand your timeline and be happy and content. Money matters but money isn’t all there is. How you make your money is much more important than how much you make. Most of the people you are chasing after don’t even know, live in your timeline.
The goal for you now is to be doing something that makes you come alive, something that is a true reflection of who you are and can be. Don’t bother about whose name you wear now, bother about what your name becomes.
You would fail, your dreams would get shattered. But you must dream new dreams and realize that it is okay to start again, and it is perfectly fine to fail. Learn to always pick yourself up and be your number one hypeman. You need to spend some time speaking to and with yourself, you know you better than others do.
It is okay to admit that you don’t know something, it is the first step towards knowing. And learn how to use google, it comes in very handy.
Get broke every once in a while, it reveals who you actually are, and helps you know what you truly value. Start to know your weakness and strengths. Time is no longer your friend but still, take time to enjoy the feel of the wind against your face.
Finally and most importantly, you must also come to realize that there is more to life, and someone bigger than all that we ever would be, you must make out time to discover for yourself who HE is, and connect to the HIM. Life is too complicated to be lived on your understanding.
So my dear, a whole lot of what you worry about wouldn’t be relevant in months and sometimes years, but life would always be relevant. So, live and live and live and have an awesome life. You deserve the best and much more.
It’s my birthday in a bit.
Lord, I need a cake.